I thought I would start out this series with a little bit of background on where Jewish conceptions of modesty come from, and by defining my own personal standards of modesty, which might not be what you expect.
Warning: what follows is a dramatic oversimplification! Consider this modesty 101.
The traditional Jewish conceptions that define a woman's dress are based on two legal issues. The first, which comes from the Torah, is the prohibition against a woman wearing the clothing of a man, or a man wearing the clothing of a woman. (See Deuteronomy 22:5.) This is one of the sources that traditionally prohibits women from wearing pants. (More on that later.) The second legal issue is that of erva, or nakedness/ sexual enticement. In the Talmud, a woman's legs, voice and hair are all cited as potential sources of erva. (Brachot 24a.) Obviously, there are many more sources in the classical literature relating to these issues, but in the name of brevity, I will restrain my academic inclinations and leave the source analysis there for now.
So how does this manifest practically? A few ways:
- Because of the prohibition of a woman wearing a man's clothing, and because a woman's legs are called nakedness, traditionally observant Jewish women have only worn skirts. As secular society changed and pants became an acceptable option for women, certain communities became more lenient on the pants-wearing issue. However, issues of tightness and exposure potentially remain. There is a huge amount of Jewish legal literature about women and pants; if you want to know more, drop me a line. Suffice it to say that in right wing Orthodox communities, most women still wear skirts exclusively or almost exclusively, but in the Modern Orthodox and Conservative worlds, pants-wearing is much more common.
- Because modesty and humility are general Jewish values, as is seen throughout the Bible, it is generally seen as ideal for both men and women to cover up. This also comes from the idea that people are created in the image of God, and therefore should treat their bodies with care and self-respect. How this manifests is different in different communities. In some communities, both men and women never go out with their legs, arms, or even collarbones uncovered. In others, men and women might wear short sleeves, but not tank tops. And of course, there are even those in the Orthodox community who feel that sleeveless and shorts are fine. So interpretation of what it means to be modest or covered will vary depending on a community's orientation.
- Going back to the piece in the Talmud, which suggests that a woman's hair is nakedness, some women have the practice of covering their hair after they get married. There is also a source in the book of Numbers which suggests that even in the time of the Bible, women had the custom of covering hair when they were married, or after going through puberty (which were essentially at the same time in those days.) Once again (are you noticing a trend here?), there are a number of different ways that people choose to cover their hair. Some women only wear a head covering in synagogue, or during religious services. Others will cover only part of their hair, but all of the time. Some cover all of their hair all of the time, either with scarves and hats, or with sheitls, or wigs. There are also women who wear hair or head coverings before they get married, but that is usually coming from the practice of wearing a kippah, and not from a modesty perspective.
So there you have a dramatic oversimplification of Jewish customs surrounding modesty! Here's a little bit about my own personal code.
Suffice it to say, my journey to where I am today in terms of what modesty means to me has been long, and it continues to evolve. There are things that I used to wear that I will not wear anymore, and also things that I now feel comfortable wearing that I might not have a few years ago. As part of this series, I'll write a post in the future about that journey and how it unfolded. For now, however, I'll give you a little bit of an overview of my current practices, and what informs them.
First of all, something you haven't seen yet on the blog but will eventually is that I wear pants. I'm sure that will be surprising to some people, who might then question whether this is really a modest fashion blog. That's fine with me; if there's one thing that I've learned, it's that modesty means different things to different people. Interestingly, through all of my modesty journey, I have never stopped wearing pants. I actually had the opportunity to spend a few months learning these laws a number of years ago, and what I realized (among other things) was that the prohibition against a woman wearing a man's clothing can no longer be applied today, when it would be difficult to get women's pants and men's pants mixed up. I try not to wear anything too tight, especially between the legs, which has been a more difficult task as the skinny jeans phenomenon has taken over the world. Also, when I wear pants, especially more fitted ones, I will usually wear a looser top for balance, and to ensure that my code of modesty is being maintained. I do not feel that pants are inherently more provocative than skirts; in fact, I can think of many instances where skirts have been the less modest option.
Second, I wear sleeves to my elbow, although I don't need my elbows to be covered. This makes me slightly unusual in the pants-wearing crowd, although I know others like me. I came to this sort of by equating my legs and my arms, if that makes sense. Just as I cover the top half of my legs, so too I cover the top half of my arms. The one exception to this is gym-style t-shirts, which are usually a bit shorter in the sleeve, but still cover most of the upper arm and are fairly loose, so I'll wear them when I'm running/ working out/ hiking, etc.
Third, I don't wear shorts at all, even long ones (other than basketball shorts at the beach), and all of my skirts and dresses have to fall at least to the top of my knee cap. This is partly about personal comfort, but also about the notion that part of what it means to serve God means keeping part of myself private. I happen to be particularly punctilious about this particular issue, which has sometimes made skirt buying difficult for me. (See: the adorable dress from the last Stitch Fix.) Right now, midi skirts seem to be having a moment, but I have certainly had to get creative sometimes. A post about that will come in the how-to series some time in the next month or so.
Finally, the hair covering question. I am not married, so it's not a particularly relevant issue in my life at the moment. It's something I've given some thought to, and I think I know which way I'll incline when the day comes, but I also know I might feel differently when the reality of what it would mean to wear, or not wear, a head covering every day for the rest of my life comes to the forefront. So I'll hold off on this one for now, and if the blog is still chugging along if/ when I get engaged, I am sure I will have a lot to say on the topic.
I think I have officially set the record for my longest post yet, so I'll stop here for now. Please leave questions, or your own thoughts on modest dress, in the comments! I look forward or hearing from you!
This was very helpful. Thanks!
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