Big Day! = No Pics

Dear readers, I promise I have not foresaken you. Instead, the combination of Shavuot (including being up all night), taking my 6th comprehensive exam, and starting work has taken its toll. When I got home from work today, I vaguely thought about leaving my dress on until someone could take pictures of me. But instead, I was in pajamas within 15 minutes. Oh well.

As the title says, today was a big day. I passed my exam on 75 pages of Talmud with the Tosafot commentators (that might not sound like a lot, but trust me, it is.) This was my 6th oral exam, and my last one on primary sources. I have one left before I'm ABD, on all of the secondary literature that I need to cover. So on one hand, six down, one to go. On the other hand, that one is a biggie. Still, under all the exhaustion, I am indeed feeling very proud.

This is what I felt like before my comp. Eek!

This is what I felt like after! Yay!

Today was also the official start of summer for me, not because of Memorial Day, but because teaching season has begun. During the year, I go to school full time and work part time, but in the summer, I work full time and only study half time. (What's that you say? That's 1.5 time? Yes, well, perhaps that explains the inability to keep my eyes open in pictures :) ) I love teaching season. It reminds me what I really want to be doing with my life, and also that all of these comps are worth it. So expect some more work-appropriate looks coming your way soon-- just as soon as I manage to take of my pajamas.

In non-work appropriate fashion news, a tulle skirt I ordered right before my spending freeze began arrived last week, and I finally got to try it on. Basically, I look like I am wearing a tutu. But it is awesome and I look forward to rocking it for all of you soon.

In the meantime, I promise that I will return to our regularly scheduled programming imminently. Happy Tuesday, everyone!

California Dreaming (Part 1)

Hello from sunny Los Angeles, friends! I'm here until Sunday hanging with my nephews and niece (and their mother.) They're moving back to New York in a few months, which I am SUPER excited about, but there is something to be said about the California weather. Mid 70s and sunny? Yes please!

Photo credit: Rebecca. NOT Adam, who keeps making fun of my blog, despite also being a loyal reader.

As my sister said, you need to post this outfit so that people know you really wear pants! So here they are, doubters. You now have proof of my pants-wearing ways. (If you're surprised to see that I wear pants, you can read more about that here.) I actually really like these pants. I bought them at the end of last summer on super sale, because I felt like I wanted some summer pants, and they've been an excellent addition to my wardrobe.

I also really enjoy this shirt. I was at TJ Maxx a few months ago buying some layering basics, and I saw this on the rack. It's hard to tell in the picture, but the sleeves and back are a stretchy t-shirt material, while the front is a lightweight blouse material. Sometimes it's the fun little details that make the difference. I decided it was worth the $15, and now I'm glad I did.

Kindly ignore the frizz halo. I spent the morning on an airplane.

Look what I spotted on my run yesterday! Aren't they beautiful?  I know it's always spring in California, but coming from New York, I was very taken by the bright colors.

Finally, on a much more serious note, tonight marks the beginning of Yom HaShoah, which is the Jewish Holocaust Remembrance Day (as opposed to the international one, which is in November.) My grandma (pictured below at my college graduation) was lucky enough to get out Berlin with her family in 1937, but of course millions of people were not as lucky as they were. There's a mishnah in Sanhedrin that talks about how anyone who takes a life has not only taken the life of that person, but also of all of their future offspring, up to infinite generations. When I look at the family my grandmother built-- her children, her grandchildren, and now her nine (with two new additions this week!) great-grandchildren, three of whom were lucky enough to know her-- I am filled with sadness to think of all of the generations that never were because of the horrible atrocities perpetrated against the Jews and so many others. So while a fashion blog might seem like a strange place to do this, I want to acknowledge that loss, and my (our) commitment to building a world where such events happen only in history, instead of in the world even to this day. May their memories be for a blessing.

What I'm wearing: Democracy shirt via TJ Maxx, Gap cropped khakis, Downeast Basics camisole, Franco Sarto sandals

On Modesty: Intro to Jewish Modesty and My Code of Modesty

One of the things I'm hoping to do on this blog, other than post funny and awkward pictures of my outfits and have you read my random musings, is explore the ideas and attitudes that inform what it means to live a modest life. Over time, I'll write about things like modesty and body image, what it means to embody modesty beyond appearance, and hopefully also other people's reflections on what modesty means to them. I'd also love to hear from you about what you would like me to write about, so if you have questions, leave them in the comments, or email me here!

I thought I would start out this series with a little bit of background on where Jewish conceptions of modesty come from, and by defining my own personal standards of modesty, which might not be what you expect.

Warning: what follows is a dramatic oversimplification! Consider this modesty 101.

The traditional Jewish conceptions that define a woman's dress are based on two legal issues. The first, which comes from the Torah, is the prohibition against a woman wearing the clothing of a man, or a man wearing the clothing of a woman. (See Deuteronomy 22:5.) This is one of the sources that traditionally prohibits women from wearing pants. (More on that later.) The second legal issue is that of erva, or nakedness/ sexual enticement. In the Talmud, a woman's legs, voice and hair are all cited as potential sources of erva. (Brachot 24a.) Obviously, there are many more sources in the classical literature relating to these issues, but in the name of brevity, I will restrain my academic inclinations and leave the source analysis there for now.

So how does this manifest practically? A few ways:

• Because of the prohibition of a woman wearing a man's clothing, and because a woman's legs are called nakedness, traditionally observant Jewish women have only worn skirts. As secular society changed and pants became an acceptable option for women, certain communities became more lenient on the pants-wearing issue. However, issues of tightness and exposure potentially remain. There is a huge amount of Jewish legal literature about women and pants; if you want to know more, drop me a line. Suffice it to say that in right wing Orthodox communities, most women still wear skirts exclusively or almost exclusively, but in the Modern Orthodox and Conservative worlds, pants-wearing is much more common.

• Because modesty and humility are general Jewish values, as is seen throughout the Bible, it is generally seen as ideal for both men and women to cover up. This also comes from the idea that people are created in the image of God, and therefore should treat their bodies with care and self-respect. How this manifests is different in different communities. In some communities, both men and women never go out with their legs, arms, or even collarbones uncovered. In others, men and women might wear short sleeves, but not tank tops. And of course, there are even those in the Orthodox community who feel that sleeveless and shorts are fine. So interpretation of what it means to be modest or covered will vary depending on a community's orientation.

• Going back to the piece in the Talmud, which suggests that a woman's hair is nakedness, some women have the practice of covering their hair after they get married. There is also a source in the book of Numbers which suggests that even in the time of the Bible, women had the custom of covering hair when they were married, or after going through puberty (which were essentially at the same time in those days.) Once again (are you noticing a trend here?), there are a number of different ways that people choose to cover their hair. Some women only wear a head covering in synagogue, or during religious services. Others will cover only part of their hair, but all of the time. Some cover all of their hair all of the time, either with scarves and hats, or with sheitls, or wigs. There are also women who wear hair or head coverings before they get married, but that is usually coming from the practice of wearing a kippah, and not from a modesty perspective.

So there you have a dramatic oversimplification of Jewish customs surrounding modesty! Here's a little bit about my own personal code.

Suffice it to say, my journey to where I am today in terms of what modesty means to me has been long, and it continues to evolve. There are things that I used to wear that I will not wear anymore, and also things that I now feel comfortable wearing that I might not have a few years ago. As part of this series, I'll write a post in the future about that journey and how it unfolded. For now, however, I'll give you a little bit of an overview of my current practices, and what informs them.

First of all, something you haven't seen yet on the blog but will eventually is that I wear pants. I'm sure that will be surprising to some people, who might then question whether this is really a modest fashion blog. That's fine with me; if there's one thing that I've learned, it's that modesty means different things to different people. Interestingly, through all of my modesty journey, I have never stopped wearing pants. I actually had the opportunity to spend a few months learning these laws a number of years ago, and what I realized (among other things) was that the prohibition against a woman wearing a man's clothing can no longer be applied today, when it would be difficult to get women's pants and men's pants mixed up. I try not to wear anything too tight, especially between the legs, which has been a more difficult task as the skinny jeans phenomenon has taken over the world. Also, when I wear pants, especially more fitted ones, I will usually wear a looser top for balance, and to ensure that my code of modesty is being maintained. I do not feel that pants are inherently more provocative than skirts; in fact, I can think of many instances where skirts have been the less modest option.

Second, I wear sleeves to my elbow, although I don't need my elbows to be covered. This makes me slightly unusual in the pants-wearing crowd, although I know others like me. I came to this sort of by equating my legs and my arms, if that makes sense. Just as I cover the top half of my legs, so too I cover the top half of my arms. The one exception to this is gym-style t-shirts, which are usually a bit shorter in the sleeve, but still cover most of the upper arm and are fairly loose, so I'll wear them when I'm running/ working out/ hiking, etc. 

Third, I don't wear shorts at all, even long ones (other than basketball shorts at the beach), and all of my skirts and dresses have to fall at least to the top of my knee cap. This is partly about personal comfort, but also about the notion that part of what it means to serve God means keeping part of myself private. I happen to be particularly punctilious about this particular issue, which has sometimes made skirt buying difficult for me. (See: the adorable dress from the last Stitch Fix.) Right now, midi skirts seem to be having a moment, but I have certainly had to get creative sometimes. A post about that will come in the how-to series some time in the next month or so.

Finally, the hair covering question. I am not married, so it's not a particularly relevant issue in my life at the moment. It's something I've given some thought to, and I think I know which way I'll incline when the day comes, but I also know I might feel differently when the reality of what it would mean to wear, or not wear, a head covering every day for the rest of my life comes to the forefront. So I'll hold off on this one for now, and if the blog is still chugging along if/ when I get engaged, I am sure I will have a lot to say on the topic.

I think I have officially set the record for my longest post yet, so I'll stop here for now. Please leave questions, or your own thoughts on modest dress, in the comments! I look forward or hearing from you!

Welcome!

Hi there! Welcome to my blog! My name is Rachel. I’m a graduate student in New York, working on a PhD in Rabbinic literature. (That basically means I study Jewish texts from about 200-700 CE.) Additionally, I teach Talmud in a number of places, which mostly keeps me busy and out of trouble. Other than school and work, I also am a devoted aunt to my two nephews and one niece, an avid baker, and a big fan of Parks and Rec. Also, I own way too many books and way too many pairs of shoes.

Also, in case the title of the blog didn’t make it clear, I have curly hair and glasses. Once, after I had gotten a post-haircut blowout, someone commented to me that I looked amazing with straight hair and no glasses. At the time I was offended—they were basically saying I looked best when I didn’t look like me! However, now, I have some to embrace my mediocre vision and sometimes-frizzy hair as a part of who I am. Perhaps they are unconventional, but they are awesome. And I like to think of myself the same way!

While I’ve written elsewhere about my work and perspectives on a number of Jewish issues, I created this blog for fun, to do something a little bit different. Although this blog won’t be connected to my work, at least directly, it is certainly related to my thoughts on what it means to be an engaged and thoughtful observant Jewish woman in the modern world. So while its main focus will be modest fashion, I hope to also explore deeper issues related to modesty, gender and the intersection of modernity and tradition as they come up. Mostly fun, hopefully, but with occasional serious moments.

To explain a bit about what drove me to start this blog—before I went to graduate school, I spent four years learning Talmud and Jewish law in an institution devoted to providing opportunities for advanced Jewish learning for women. Both when I was there, and now when I am working on my PhD, I have found myself towing a thin line of not wanting to be defined by my gender on one hand, and being forced to acknowledge it on the other. For hundreds of years, Talmud was learned exclusively by men. Even as many communities have opened up opportunities for more rigorous learning for women, I am still aware of the degree to which I am often seen as a female student and teacher of Talmud. It is not unusual for me to be the only woman in the room, or for people to comment on my appearance before they comment on my teaching. So while I don’t usually feel like a trailblazer, I also have to admit that what I do is still not exactly conventional.

So why, you might wonder, would I write a blog about clothing and fashion if I want people to stop paying attention to how I look? This is an excellent question! Here are three answers:

Modesty is a core Jewish value, but it often defined solely in terms of clothing, and only applied to women. However, this construction is out of line with Jewish tradition. A survey of the texts points to the degree that modesty is a state of mind, reflective of the ideals of humility, and an acknowledgment of powers greater than ourselves. It applies equally to men and to women. Through this lens, it is possible to reimagine what it means to be modest, creating a space for both respect of the tradition and individual exploration and tradition.

As much as we might like to pretend it isn’t so, how we look matters. We all make assumptions based on people’s appearances, for better or for worse. Because of that reality, I think about how I look, because I want to think about the image I am projecting to the world. As an example—I once had a high school student who, every time she saw me, would say to the people around her, “Doesn’t Rachel have the BEST outfits?” I wasn’t especially comfortable with her focus on my appearance, until I realized that it became a starting point for us to engage. The conversations about my clothes evolved into conversations about more important things, allowing me to dig beneath the surface and better understand her as a student and as a person. Sometimes the shallow is a good entry point to reach a deeper level.

I like fashion! I think it’s fun to develop a style, and then to subvert those expectations. I like the way what I put on can reflect the mood I’m in that day, or even change that mood. While, in certain ways, I am not a girly girl (you should hear me whine if I have to put on makeup or wear heels), in other ways, I have inherited a love of pretty dresses and funky scarves. Clothing is another way for me to express my values, my taste, and myself—and to have a little bit of fun when I wake up every morning.

So that’s my story. I hope you’ll follow along and share your own thoughts and ideas as well! I’d love to use this platform to start a conversation, and to get to (virtually) get to know you. Hope to see you back here soon!