One Month to Go! So I'm Getting Real.

Guys, it has been a big week. I saw my first ever ocean reacting to a tropical storm. (Crazy.) I ran a 10k and set a personal best with a crazy negative split. (More on that later, including the definition of a negative split.) I wrote 15(!) pages of my dissertation proposal. (For those of you keeping track who thought I had already finished a draft, the answer is that is true, but I decided it was bad so I threw it out and started again. If you are wondering if I am insane, the answer might be yes.) And last night, I reached peak happiness, when my lifelong (or yearlong) dream was finally realized and I got to go SEE HAMILTON. Was it as good as everyone said? Yes. Did I cry for almost the whole second act? Yes. I am afraid nothing will ever be that good again? Yes. Lin Manuel Miranda, if you are reading this blog (hey, you never know!), you are a genius and I am sort of obsessed with you in a not at all creepy way. Thank you for sharing your art with the world. And please let me know how I can go again! Ok? Thanks!

This was taken after the 10k, but it could have been
me yesterday on Hamilton day.

Anyway. It is one month until HM Day, which is half-marathon day. Eek! So in honor of this occasion, I'm going to get real with all of you. Like many people (and especially women) out there, I spend way too much time worrying about how I look. I wish I didn't. I wish I felt good about my body every day, no matter what. I wish I could always focus on the amazing things my body could do, instead of what it looked like. In fact, one of the reasons I started this blog was to force myself to stop hiding, start wearing clothes that fit, and learn to talk about myself and how I look in positive ways. It's actually been a mostly successful endeavor, which I feel glad about, and I'm hoping to get back into blogging more regularly now that I'm on a regular schedule again.

Bat Mitzvah Rachel

I don't remember when I started feeling self conscious about my body. Maybe it's just (unfortunately) a normal learned behavior in our society? But either way, the larger problem for much of my adolescence was that I wasn't healthy, or treating my body well. I played sports (extremely poorly), but I also ate bagels and plain pasta basically every day and many snickers bars. Every year, I would go to the doctor and she would suggest gently that perhaps I should change my eating habits and try to lose a little weight, or at least not gain more. And every year, I would be  extremely motivated for about three days and then would go back to normal. By the time I was 14, I was 5'3", 200 pounds, and in pretty terrible shape. I wanted to look different, but I didn't know how.

The successful racers

Sometimes people ask me how I lost all that weight. The answer is a complicated one. First, I didn't lose it all at once. It came off in blocks, and then it would stop again. Second, I never decided to go on a diet. Instead, I decided to try to eat more salad and discovered I actually liked many vegetables. I stopped buying so many candy bars. I tried to stop eating my feelings. (It worked sometimes.) Third, I got an iPod. I know this sounds weird, but it really changed my relationship to exercise. When I didn't have to lug around a discman (remember those????) going to the gym or for a run was suddenly more more enjoyable.

The struggle still continued, and does sometimes. I try to focus on how I feel and how my clothes fit, rather than a number on a scale. These days, I also do some strength training, which is a new challenge for me and sometimes makes me feel very hardcore (like the time I did 10 push ups and then leg pressed my body weight! Yes, I did make people congratulate me. I'm not ashamed.) I also realized that exercise helps me with my anxiety, which means that when I feel bad, I specifically try to get myself outside. It doesn't always work, but there is something to be said for the idea that one healthy choice leads to another.

So proud of my mom, who ran her first 5K!

 The other thing I realized, though, is that I feel really STRONG right now. And that's so cool! I'm not sure I ever felt this strong before. I first felt it consciously on Sunday, when, as the 10K went on, I started running faster, instead of running out of steam. I ended up doing the second 3 miles more than a minute and a half faster than the first three miles (that's a negative split), which is something that I've never done before. And when I was done, I felt like I could keep going, instead of totally exhausted and beaten down. Obviously this is a good thing, since I'm supposed to run 13 miles in exactly one month. But it's also really amazing because I'm not sure I've ever felt strong before. And when I feel strong, I'm less worried about how the person I see in the mirror looks, because I know she is healthy.

The finishers!

I'm sure this is not the end of the body struggles. I wish I could say that it will be over and I will never feel bad about myself again but that is obviously a lie. I also wish we lived in a world where less attention was paid to how women look and more attention was paid to things like their brains, but it seems we are still pretty far from that. So in the meantime, I promise that Curly Hair with Glasses will remain body positive and cheer you on no matter what you look like, choose to wear, or otherwise present yourself to society. We love you here, dear readers! Keep on trucking! And feel free to leave your thoughts and stories in the comments. I would love to read them.

And in honor of that love, here is one more picture of Bat Mitzvah Rachel, just because it is so funny. Never say that I don't do anything for you. Have a great weekend!

SBL2.0: The Running of the Balls

Or, that time I took a picture with a giant testicle.

 Dear readers, if you ever want to feel terrible about yourself, I recommend reading running blogs. These are not things that I usually read, but in the course of my googling to learn more about the course of the Staten Island Half, I found some blogs that wrote about the course. And while I got a little more info about how many hills to expect, the main thing I found myself feeling was bad about myself. Because there's nothing like someone writing about how they didn't get to train because their Crohn's Disease was acting up, so they only had a seven minute mile pace instead of a six minute mile case. Seriously, just kill me now.

ALL OF THE SWEAT

 Well, dear readers, this will never that type of blog! Because here at Curly Hair With Glasses, we want everyone to feel good about themselves, no matter how slowly they run, or if they choose not to run at all!

These pictures are from a 10K I ran on Fathers Day, known (because it raises money for testicular cancer research) as the Running of the Balls. And yes, there was a mascot dressed as a testical. And yes, I took a picture with him. (Obviously.) And yes, it turns out that one of my former students knows him. It's a small world, folks.

The day was sunny but very hot, and we were at Roosevelt Island, which is flat but shadeless. As you can see in the picture above, I was extremely sweaty. I also ran my first 5k too fast (in a little under 29 minutes) and then tired out and took longer on the second 5k. But I finished in 59:57, which I felt really great about. Runners blogs be damned. We are all winners here!

My training is progressing slowly. I'm supposed to do one long run a week, so yesterday I did seven miles. It was one of those days where I felt like I was going to die with every step. But I didn't! Let's hear it for not passing out in Riverside Park! The idea of running almost double that is feeling pretty intimidating right now, but I still have time. And please leave encouragement! I can use all of the cheering I can get.

Me! I finished! Yay!

 One note about my t-shirt. You might notice that it says "Property of Ravenclaw Quidditch", and you might be thinking, What Rachel??? Not Gryffindor? To which I saw, I would clearly be in Ravenclaw, so I'm just being true to who I am, and also does anyone else feel like the Gryffindor people maybe got themselves into a little more trouble than was strictly necessary? RAVENCLAW FOREVER!!!

Time until the half marathon: two months and four days

What I'm wearing: Look Human Ravenclaw t-shirt, Kirkland yoga pants, Adidas sneakers (similar here)

SBL 2.0: Family 5K Day/ You Can't Handle the Ruth

Here is the continuation of last week's blog post-- the time we ran the 5K in the 10000% humidity.

Here's the story. Our original plan was to "run" (it's a relative term) a family 5K on Mother's Day, before we did our usual event of eating a lot of brunch. But then we went to the baptism and were worried about not making it in time, so we pushed off the race until Memorial Day. But then the forecast was for crazy rain, so my parents bailed. LAME. So off the sisters went, with a Simon in tow, to represent the family in a great feat of athletic prowess.

In the end, it didn't rain. That being said, the race probably would have been more pleasant if it had. It instead was so humid that my glasses kept fogging up and we were all sweating before we even started running.

This was the view out of the tram.

Gloomy indeed. But we persevered. The challenge of running with Simon is, he likes to sprint for about 10 seconds and then starts complaining about how he's too tired/ his skin is itchy/ he doesn't want to run anymore. Apparently seven year olds are not known for their endurance. Eventually Rebecca, who was somewhat injured anyway, stayed back to walk with him, and Sarah and I ran the last two miles and then circled back to finish with them again.

Eventually, we all made it across the finish line. Points for all of us. Even Simon smiled for a minute (before reverting to his signature Simon Scowl.)

This race was more for fun than for anything else, but it also kicked off my "time to get my butt into gear" time. That has since gotten to be more for real (as this was more than a month ago), and it will only get to be more so in August. Last week I ran to the Little Red Lighthouse and then most of the way back (I would say I probably ran about 8 of 9.5 miles, if not consecutively), so we are on our way. Except for the part where I periodically wonder why I decided that it would be fun to try to run 13 miles. Unclear.

The Simon Scowl. Patent Pending.

You might notice that all of our t-shirts are coordinated. They are from the Look Human RBG line, which is a favorite of mine, since RBG is so freaking cool. But also, as you might know, my mom's name is Ruth, so we bought these shirts in honor of Mother's Day. (See above.) One day, we will all wear them together, but in the meantime, here is part of the Ruth Crew:

Time until half marathon: 2 months, 29 days. Eek!

What I'm wearing: Look Human t-shirt, Kirkland yoga capris, Adidas sneakers via DSW (similar here), Penn hat (go Quakers!)

Big News!!

Happy Monday, friends! I hope you all had a great weekend, wet as it was here in New York.

Work started last week for the summer, so I am teaching and happy as a clam. (I'm not sure what makes clams happy, but okay.) Unfortunately, this has meant that I have lost all motivation to work on my prospectus, which now just sits open on my computer staring at me forlornly as I desperately do anything else and try to pretend I don't see it.

Right after I got back from Israel, NY had a crazy heat wave. Not quite the 106 degrees I had there, but here we have humidity, which is basically the devil. These pics were taken the day I got back, before it got bad, so you can see both my sunburn and the fact that I did not sweat through my clothing at all! Good for me. Shaina and I went for a walk, so we snapped some pics in front of this garden on Riverside Drive. As you can see, this is not the most interesting thing I've ever worn, but I liked the contrast of the different patterns and blues with the dress and shoes.

And look at my cute new bag! Purchased after much dithering at DSW. So far it is giving me much joy. Hurrah for a brightly patterned purse.

As the title says, I have big news! Yesterday, I signed up for a half marathon. Eek! It's the Staten Island half, on October 9th. The end is at home plate in the stadium where the Staten Island Yankees play, which sounded fun to me. Now, you might have followed my various sisterly forays into 5ks (which I apparently have not blogged about) and 10ks, but this a whole other beast. The 10k has been a distance I can run most days now, so I decided it was time for a new challenge, but I'm sort of scared because running 13.1 miles is, objectively speaking, totally bonkers.

The plan as of right now, in order to keep me blogging and training, is to write periodically about the process. I imagine those posts will also include some of my thoughts about body image, my various iterations of getting my body healthier, and also what it means to think about modesty when you don't always feel amazing about your body. But don't worry, the cute outfits will keep coming too.

I'm hoping you all will cheer for me along the way. Also, I'm writing about this so you can keep me accountable. Plus, if you live nearby and want to help me train, I'm always looking for running buddies! Also looking for your favorite songs to get you amped up and ready to go. Please leave suggestions in the comments!

Current countdown: 4 months and 3 days to go. (Yes, that is a long time. Yes, I know I don't need to train yet. But I've always been an overachiever, so why should this be different?)

What I'm wearing: Charter Club dress via Macys (similar here), Kosher Casual shell, Toms shoes (similar here), Fossil bag via DSW

What to Wear to Ride an Elephant

Dear readers, I have returned! I know you all missed me terribly, so let's get to it.

As you know, I just spent a little less than two weeks in Nepal. It was an incredible trip-- fun, thought provoking, educational, beautiful, and challenging (in a good way.) I still have things to post from before I went, but I'm going to hold off for now and instead dedicate my next few posts to the trip, while the memories are still fresh in my mind. As I go, I'll also offer some tips for thinking about modesty while traveling, on a few different levels.

Off we go!

One of the things I was most looking forward to on this trip was the wildlife, and especially the elephants. This is partly because I grew up seeing a picture of my grandparents riding an elephant when they went to Nepal, and it looked so fun. So when my uncle first sent the itinerary and there was an elephant ride on it, I was VERY excited.

A few things to know about elephants. There used to be many different species, but unfortunately, now most of them are extinct. The two main remaining categories are African elephants and Asian elephants. The Asian ones are smaller and more easily trained. All are in danger of extinction and are difficult to breed in captivity. The breeding center we visited, in Chitwan (in the south of Nepal, where the land is flatter and the weather is warmer), was the second of its kind, and has had a pretty high success rate.

Look at the baby! Is that not the cutest thing ever???

The goal is to raise and train the elephants humanely, without using chains whenever possible. Obviously, there are some complicated ethical questions about people using elephants for their own need, but it's one of those conservation issues, where domesticating a small part of the population tends to lead to fewer threats for the ones in the wild. At the breeding center we visited, the domesticated females were bred with the wild males. The babies are trained from when they are about three years old, and each elephant has three trainers dedicated to him or her.

The full look, plus a younger sister as an extra accessory.

After we visited the breeding center, we went on an elephant safari of sorts. Again, complicated ethically, but also just so cool. And, as it turns out, really bumpy and super uncomfortable. But also totally worth it.

As you can sort of see in the above picture, you ride with your legs around a pole so as not to slide off. Therefore, this is not an activity to be done in a skirt. Also, because we were riding through the jungle, full coverage was a must. (Believe it or not, I had to pull a leach off that day. I know, gross.) I found the yoga pants (not too tight) were best for this activity, as they are very stretchy and also flexible, which meant I didn't have to think about adjusting them at all. Sneakers were a must. My hair did not much care for Nepal (it is a country of straight haired people) so I mostly covered it up, and I added my RBG t-shirt because RBG rules everywhere. Even in Nepal, on an elephant.

And we all made it off in one piece. Thanks elephant! We will love you forever.

Gonna Make Me Sweat

Hello from the library! The blog catch-up continues.

People like to say that women don't sweat, they glow. Well, people, that is dumb. I sweat. Sometimes gross amounts, or at least certainly more than I care to acknowledge sometimes. But you know what? It's part of being a human. And it means my body is working and doing cool things. So there.

These pictures were taken at Nyack Beach State Park, where I did my bucket list hiking with my friend Hannah. It was SUPER humid that day. We were both sweating before we even started up the mountain. Where we proceeded to lose the trail and get lost. Oops. Don't worry, everyone made it home safely!

See, we made it back to the bottom.

As a modest dresser, exercise clothes actually provide a significant challenge for me. I care not at all about what I look like if I'm, say, out running-- it will all be disgusting and sweaty in a few minutes anyway-- but I still want to maintain my modesty standards as much as possible. However, it seems that someone decided that everyone in the world only wants to work out in leggings. I do not wear leggings. But sweatpants don't work because they fall down, and I think we can all agree that mooning people certainly isn't modest.

The view from the top!

So I did a long and intensive search and finally found some workout pants at Marshalls that didn't fall down and weren't leggings. But now that I see these pictures... they look like leggings. Sigh. I promise they aren't, but there was only so much time and effort I could devote to this shopping project. But if you have any suggestions (that aren't insanely expensive), please let me know in the comments!

And now, some pictures of nature:

What I'm wearing: Look Human t-shirt, Danskin capris via Marshalls, '47 Yankees hat (similar here), Adidas sneakers via DSW