Rabbi and Mr. Alex!

Way, way back a million years ago, I wrote about my friends Alex and Alex, and their engagement party. Well, they finally got married. (ok, it was almost two months ago. I'm behind on life. It happens.) Hurrah!

The wedding was on July 3rd, so I decided to go red, white and blue. As it turned out, my whole family dressed in that color scheme as well, without even knowing it. We were all very adorable and color coordinated. Ordinarily, I would hesitate about wearing this dress to a wedding because some people are very intense about nobody wearing white (even if it covered with giant polka dots) to a wedding, but since there was no bride this time around, it seemed like a good choice. (It is actually pretty old, dating back to my graduation party four years ago, but I continue to love it and wear it when the opportunity arises.)

The cutest

 Guys, this wedding was the best. It was the perfect combo of moving and fun. It also had a little bit of a "last day of camp" feeling, since it was the last time that an awesome group of rabbis who just graduated in May were going to be together for a long time. So at the end of the night, there was a lot of crying. Guys, DON'T FORGET THAT SOME OF US AREN'T DONE WITH SCHOOL YET! PLEASE COME VISIT ME IN THE BEIT MIDRASH WHILE I TRY TO WRITE MY DISSERTATION! All of my friends are leaving me...

Abe tried to teach me to take selfies, but then I couldn't do it so he did it instead.

 Meanwhile, the happy grooms have moved to Ohio, where they seem to be settling in nicely, at least according to Facebook and occasional text messages. A special shout out to Mr. Alex, who is one of the blog's biggest fans, and who is featured up front looking very dapper in his wedding suit. Rabbi and Mr, we miss you in New York! Come see us!

Zach promised he would come visit me at school!

 Anyway. The wedding! It was chill and beautiful and just right for these two lovebirds and the many people who were so happy to celebrate with them. It had a nice pintrest-y feel, which you can see in the pictures below, without feeling precious. Everything felt thoughtful without being over the top-- not always an easy balance to strike.

The happy grooms.

 And of course, most importantly, love was overflowing. The love between the two Alexes, but also among everyone in the room to them and for them. A lot of crying, even more laughing, and dancing until they told us we really had to leave and go home.

truth.

So mazel tov, dear friends! May every coming day be as happy as that one was, for you and for all of us.

Love is Love is Love

I've been thinking about blogging, but somehow finding myself unable to do so in light of what's been happening in America lately, and especially in Orlando. I believe that there's something to be said for trying to live life as "normally" as possible, but right now it feels wrong to do so when so many people's normal is gone forever. So I hope you'll all indulge me a different sort of blog post for today.

 Last night I went to Museum Mile, a wonderful outdoor festival on 5th Avenue, with my friend Marci. I'll write more about it another time, but the main thing that struck me was all of the street art. One of the things they do is close off the street and put out buckets of chalk and people of all ages leave messages on the street. A lot of them are pictures, or people writing their names, but there were so many messages of love and strength, and I found I couldn't stop taking pictures of them. So I'm including some of them below, along with a few thoughts and also things that you can do if you want to try to make the world even a little bit better and stronger.

 First, I'm sad that this needs to be said, but since it does: to my LGBTQ+ friends and readers-- I, and so many people, love you very much. I will not pretend to have any idea what you must feel like right now, especially because you are all distinct people who are feeling distinct things, but know that if you want to unload any of those things, I (and, I'm sure, many others) are here for whenever and whatever you need. All I want for you is to be safe and happy, and to find love in whatever form with whoever you wish. It's so hard to find love in this world. If you have found it, know that I feel nothing but joy for you. If you have not, I wish very much that you will, if that is what you want. And if there is anything that I can do to help make our communities safer and more friendly for you, tell me and I will do my best to do it.

Second, I'm sad this needs to be said as well, but to all of my Muslim friends and readers-- I, and so many other people, love you very much. I know that you, and your faith, had nothing to do with what happened on Saturday night, and I promise that I will never hold you responsible for it. America is as much your country as it is mine, and even though the voices of hate and suspicion are loud right now, they do not reflect our country's values,  or what we believe. If there is anything I can do to help make you feel safe, again, please tell me and I will do everything I can.

And now, because words are important, but they are not enough, a few idea of things to do if, like me, you have both been feeling helpless and also like you desperately want to do something:

1. Donate blood! There's a major blood shortage right now in general, and in the face of the many injured parties in the Orlando shooting, there's even more need. However, men are prohibited from donating blood if they have had sex with men in the last year, stopping many from being able to donate to help their community. (A conversation for another time.) You can find a blood drive near you here.

2. Make your voice heard for gun control. I'm a native New Yorker and I was not raised around guns. I understand that they are culturally important in other parts of the country. That being said, can we all get on board with the idea that people should not be able to buy assault weapons? There's been a dramatic increase in the number of mass shootings and gun deaths since the assault weapon ban expired in 2005, which is surely not a coincidence. Get involved with gun safety efforts here, and write to your elected officials with the instructions listed here.

3. Donate money to help the victims of the Orlando shooting, and to supporting LGBTQ+ people who have been abused, thrown out of their families, or need help with medical treatment. I found a great list here. The Southern Poverty Law Center is also one of my favorite organizations working on creating a world with less hate. You can see more about them here.

4. Speak out against the racism and xenophobia that the Muslim community is currently experiencing. We often don't think of petitions as doing anything, but the reaction to the first round of signatures received on this one was really positive. More ideas about concrete actions here and here.

5. Love each other. Do random acts of kindness. Smile at someone you don't know. Speak up, make your voice heard, advocate for justice. Vote! Find small ways to make the world better. Believe that the future doesn't have to look like the present.

Hopefully we'll be back to our usual frivolity soon. For now, love is love is love. Love to all of you.