A Prologue: Thanks to those of you who helped out with the Stitch Fix dilemma. I ended up keeping the THML blouse (which I already wore) and the cardigan. Elbow patches for everyone! Don't forget, if you want, you can sign up for your own fix here!
And now, to the main event: the next Q&A.
This one comes from my friend Yael. Yael is my oldest friend (I have literally known her since I was born.) Sadly, we have something in common right now-- a big ugly brace. Mine is on my hand (yes, still), and hers is on her leg.
Here's Yael's question: I am wearing a boot on my foot for 4 weeks because I tore my plantar fascia. It's really not a big deal, but needs to be immobilized and finally heal after being painful to walk on for months. Fashion recommendations -- I would like to hide the ugly attention-grabbing boot. Any long skirts, dresses, wide leg pant recommendations you love?? Perhaps a blog post is in order?
smile emoticon
When life hands you lemons, it's an excuse to go (online) shopping....?
smile emoticon
Here's an answer:
First, let's acknowledge. Braces are the worst. The one upside of a boot like the one Yael has is that it can be taken off for things like showering, and to put things underneath it. As we will discover shortly, the ability to put things under is key.
[Disclaimer: To state the obvious, I am not a doctor. And while I hope to be one one day, it will not be the right kind. So... yeah.]
Ok. So let's start with shoes. It's important to have shoes that can match the elevation of the boot so that your back doesn't get misaligned. It's also important to wear comfortable shoes. (In fact, I would argue that we should always wear comfortable shoes. Life is too short to not be able to walk becaue your feet hurt.) And... it's getting to be boots season any day now. After many years of buying new boots every year, last year I bought a couple of pairs of Born boots and they are AMAZING-- and they don't need to be replaced this winter. Sometimes it's worth paying more for things of higher quality, and I would put boots in that category. Plus, they come with a variety of heel heights. Find them here with 20% off!
Now to bottoms. Apparently, at least according to my last Stitch Fix, wide leg pants are having a moment. The problem with wide leg pants is, they make almost everyone look shorter and wider. And Yael is not the tallest to begin with, so this might not be the best look. Plus, the problem with a boot is that there's no way to really cover it up because it covers the whole foot.
The problem with a boot is that it is probably too wide on top for bootcut or flare pants. So we instead move on to...
Maxi dresses also present the possibility of covering the boot. Even though most maxi dresses are of summer weight, they can be layered up well with cardigans, leggings and scarves to transition for fall. (I've been wearing mine at least once a week and I'd like to think I look at least sort of normal.) But again, length is important! Personally, I like my maxi dresses to fall right to the top of my feet with flats, but different people have different feelings about this. However, the dress shouldn't be too long. You don't want to fall and hurt yourself even more!
Zulily has a lot of maxis right now, although they tend to be very slow with delivery. So if time is of the essence, Boden is also a good bet. Especially if you are on the shorter side, like Yael, Boden has a lot of maxis available in petite for a perfect length.
However, there is also something to be say for embracing the brace. After wearing a lot of black shirts in the past few weeks in hopes that people wouldn't notice my splint, I finally accepted that people were always going to notice and were always going to ask what happened, so I might as well wear whatever I wanted. On that note:
I recommend leggings instead tights. The main challenge with anything that involves velcro is that everything catches on it, so delicate fabrics should be avoided, unless you want to be afraid every time you cross your legs. Also, fleece lined leggings are AMAZING once it gets colder.
For pants that aren't super skinny but fit under the brace, LOFT has great straight leg pants. And they're having a flash sale now until tomorrow night! Get on it, shoppers!
And finally, to draw attention from the brace, try a dark skirt with a brightly colored top. This pencil skirt from Macy's is my fall/ winter go-to. It's super comfortable but still work appropriate, and modest but won't hit against the top of the boot. Anthropologie has beautiful tops with great details (even on sale! Because otherwise who can afford anything ever?) to draw the eye upwards, away from the ugly boot. And, if not-- at least maybe someone will give you a seat on the subway!
Get well soon Yael! Have any other advice for her? Leave it in the comments!
Showing posts with label Q&A. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Q&A. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Q&A: Normal and Modest in the Summer
Remember when I was all excited to post picture of work appropriate clothing on the blog because I'm working full time now? And remember how I haven't done it at all? It's not because I don't love you. It's just because, it's sort of awkward to say, "Hey, student, can you take a picture of my outfit?" So I haven't figured out a system yet. Maybe soon. I'm working on it.
In the meantime, Q&A is back! Today's question is anonymous, but I think relevant to all of us modest dressers out there. Here we go:
Question:
In the winter, I find it's fairly easy to dress modestly and still blend in-- long sleeves, lots of layers, boots, and tights are the norm. However, in the summer, I sometimes find it's hard to both maintain my standards of modesty, look normal, and not melt to death. Any tips? -- Anonymous
Answer:
Ah yes. There is nothing that makes someone feel quite as conspicuous as wearing sleeves past the elbows when it's 90 degrees and humid outside. I have certainly been there, and it is not always easy. While there's no fail-safe way to deal with this challenge, here are some tips.
Luckily, fashion has been on the modest girls' side of late. The maxi skirt trend has been here for the last couple of years, and it looks like it's here to stay, at least for now. The good thing about maxi skirts is that they are super comfortable. The bad news is that most of them are too casual for any work environment that isn't super informal. However, they're great for the weekend or a fun evening out. You can find good options here, here and here.
It's true, most people where longer skirts with sleeveless tops in the summer. However, popover shirts are having a fashion moment, and they usually have 3/4 sleeves, which works out great for people who like longer sleeves! Additionally, they tend to be super lightweight, which makes them great for summer. Sometimes a looser shirt with more coverage is cooler than a tighter short sleeved or sleeveless shirt, so don't be afraid of the sleeves. Look for things in cotton or other light fabrics that breathe easily, like this, this or this.
Remember that a lot of people, even those who generally wear pants or shorts, choose to wear skirts in the summer. They're often lighter and airier than pants, even when they have a little more length. Again, look for lightweight fabrics. The GAP is currently selling a number of midi skirts right now in a light cotton which would likely be airy even on the hottest of days. They look super cute with flats and even a fedora, for those of you who are so inclined, to give you a nice vintage-y look.
Nobody wants to wear sweaters in the summer, so sleeveless dresses can seem unappealing if you don't want to wear a shirt underneath (which is certainly a distinctive look.) Try out wrap-style dresses, which might require a cami, but still blend nicely and can be good for hotter weather. Also check out places like Nordstrom, where you can search by sleeve length; Boden, where they have many options with sleeves; or Eshakti, where you can customize to add sleeves.
In terms of skirt length. You know that I am the world's biggest proponent of flats. Not only do I never wear heels during the week, I usually don't even wear them on Shabbat. However, there is something to be said for a good pair of wedges in order to balance out a longer skirt and make it look less conspicuous. Even a whiny heel wearer like me can find a pair of wedges that are totally bearable. Just make sure you choose a good brand. I suggest something like Aerosoles, Born, or Dr. Scholls.
If you cover your hair, I don't have a huge amount to say, as a non-hair coverer. However, fedoras are everywhere these days (thank you hipsters), and headscarves/ thick headbands also seem to be having a moment. So at least outside, you will find many like you.
Finally, remember that people are not looking at you that closely. So in terms of looking normal, people are not paying nearly as much attention to what you're wearing as you think. This is not to say that people won't notice your total fabulousness, but if you feel like you look really different from everyone else, it is unlikely that they really notice. Just wear what's comfortable for you and you'll look great!
How do you dress for modesty in the heat?
In the meantime, Q&A is back! Today's question is anonymous, but I think relevant to all of us modest dressers out there. Here we go:
Question:
In the winter, I find it's fairly easy to dress modestly and still blend in-- long sleeves, lots of layers, boots, and tights are the norm. However, in the summer, I sometimes find it's hard to both maintain my standards of modesty, look normal, and not melt to death. Any tips? -- Anonymous
Answer:
Ah yes. There is nothing that makes someone feel quite as conspicuous as wearing sleeves past the elbows when it's 90 degrees and humid outside. I have certainly been there, and it is not always easy. While there's no fail-safe way to deal with this challenge, here are some tips.
Luckily, fashion has been on the modest girls' side of late. The maxi skirt trend has been here for the last couple of years, and it looks like it's here to stay, at least for now. The good thing about maxi skirts is that they are super comfortable. The bad news is that most of them are too casual for any work environment that isn't super informal. However, they're great for the weekend or a fun evening out. You can find good options here, here and here.
It's true, most people where longer skirts with sleeveless tops in the summer. However, popover shirts are having a fashion moment, and they usually have 3/4 sleeves, which works out great for people who like longer sleeves! Additionally, they tend to be super lightweight, which makes them great for summer. Sometimes a looser shirt with more coverage is cooler than a tighter short sleeved or sleeveless shirt, so don't be afraid of the sleeves. Look for things in cotton or other light fabrics that breathe easily, like this, this or this.
Remember that a lot of people, even those who generally wear pants or shorts, choose to wear skirts in the summer. They're often lighter and airier than pants, even when they have a little more length. Again, look for lightweight fabrics. The GAP is currently selling a number of midi skirts right now in a light cotton which would likely be airy even on the hottest of days. They look super cute with flats and even a fedora, for those of you who are so inclined, to give you a nice vintage-y look.
Nobody wants to wear sweaters in the summer, so sleeveless dresses can seem unappealing if you don't want to wear a shirt underneath (which is certainly a distinctive look.) Try out wrap-style dresses, which might require a cami, but still blend nicely and can be good for hotter weather. Also check out places like Nordstrom, where you can search by sleeve length; Boden, where they have many options with sleeves; or Eshakti, where you can customize to add sleeves.
In terms of skirt length. You know that I am the world's biggest proponent of flats. Not only do I never wear heels during the week, I usually don't even wear them on Shabbat. However, there is something to be said for a good pair of wedges in order to balance out a longer skirt and make it look less conspicuous. Even a whiny heel wearer like me can find a pair of wedges that are totally bearable. Just make sure you choose a good brand. I suggest something like Aerosoles, Born, or Dr. Scholls.
If you cover your hair, I don't have a huge amount to say, as a non-hair coverer. However, fedoras are everywhere these days (thank you hipsters), and headscarves/ thick headbands also seem to be having a moment. So at least outside, you will find many like you.
Finally, remember that people are not looking at you that closely. So in terms of looking normal, people are not paying nearly as much attention to what you're wearing as you think. This is not to say that people won't notice your total fabulousness, but if you feel like you look really different from everyone else, it is unlikely that they really notice. Just wear what's comfortable for you and you'll look great!
How do you dress for modesty in the heat?
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Q&A: Modest Swimwear
Hello, dear readers! Welcome to our first question and answer feature on the blog! Today's question comes from Hollis, and it is about how to find modest swimwear:
Question:With the hot summer weather coming, I'd love to see a modesty post about swimming/swimwear! New York doesn't have the same kind of scene, but here in the suburban south I'm at the pool with my kid almost every day all summer long and I feel uncomfortably naked in a bathing suit. If I want to swim, I go at a lower traffic time and get in and do my workout and get out. It's the lounging that's weird. As I'm sure you can guess, this is both a pragmatic fashion question and a larger question about modesty and exposure. I wear a long sleeve rashguard over my suit, primarily to protect me from the sun but I like the coverage too. But I'm still so uncovered everywhere else. Do you have any suggestions? -- Hollis
Answer:Ah yes. As the weather warms up, the swimwear question always comes with it. Swimwear is a source of anxiety for many women, modestly inclined or not. I'm not going to deal with the body image piece here today; we will leave that for another time. However, I will cite my friend Amy's wisdom: You know you get a bikini-ready body in one quick step? Step one: Put on a bikini. True story, Amy.
Anyway. For those of use for whom modesty is an issue, however, swimwear is complicated beyond just body image. There are a few ways to go, in my experience.
Option #1: Just wear a bathing suit. A good number of my friends end up suspending modesty parameters when they are at the beach, under the assumption that that is actually the normal mode of dress there, and also that nobody is looking. It is also true that a one piece/ skirted bathing suit/ long tankini (God bless whoever invented the tankini, making it easier for us to go to the bathroom without taking off all of our clothes) is often much more modest than the string bikinis many people wear. If this option works for you, I have had great success with Lands End bathing suits for providing a little more coverage. (And they seem to be having a sale until tomorrow, if you're in the market.)
Option #2: Modest swimwear. I don't have a lot of experience in this area, but I have friends who have bought bathing outfits through companies like Hydrochic and Modli. The nice thing about these companies is they tend to offer a range of styles depending on your standards of modesty, including skirt options, for those whom that is a requirement. They also sell water-friendly hair coverings. I've never gone this route, partly because I don't spend enough time at the pool to justify the expense and partly because I'm fairly certain I would drown if I tried to wear a swimming skirt. But for people for whom maintaining the same standards of modesty at the beach as they do in day-to-day life is a requirement, this is definitely good to know about.
Option #3: This is sort of a middle ground, and where I hang out. I usually wear a normal swimsuit under a t-shirt/ rashguard and men's board shorts. (See the picture above, from a delightful week at the Jersey shore last summer.) I don't wear shorts in normal life, but I've found that many men's bathing suits provide me with the level of coverage I feel comfortable in at the beach. The nice thing about them is that they are meant to be used for swimming, so they don't weigh you down the way a bathing outfit might, but they still provide a lot of coverage, which is useful for both maintaining modesty and sun protection. It's not necessary to spend a lot of money on them-- mine come from Old Navy and Target-- and they could theoretically be worn without a bathing suit underneath, although I've never done so. Look for a board short that has a 10 inch inseam or longer. Also, remember that men's clothing are not cut for hips, so I often end up going up one size so that I don't feel like my legs are sausages. You'll still be more covered than basically every woman you see, but long shorts and a t-shirt are much less conspicuous, if that's a factor for you. (In a pinch, basketball shorts work as well, but they can fall down if you're in rough water.)
So those are my thoughts on swimwear. Hope that helped! Certainly, this is one of the more complicated areas of modesty, so it's important to figure out what's right for you, rather than worrying about what other people are doing. And no matter what, remember to wear sunscreen! (Especially if you're exposing parts of your skin that are usually covered. That's a lobster waiting to happen.) Happy swimming everyone!
Have a question you'd like me to answer? Leave it in the comments, or email me here!
Question:With the hot summer weather coming, I'd love to see a modesty post about swimming/swimwear! New York doesn't have the same kind of scene, but here in the suburban south I'm at the pool with my kid almost every day all summer long and I feel uncomfortably naked in a bathing suit. If I want to swim, I go at a lower traffic time and get in and do my workout and get out. It's the lounging that's weird. As I'm sure you can guess, this is both a pragmatic fashion question and a larger question about modesty and exposure. I wear a long sleeve rashguard over my suit, primarily to protect me from the sun but I like the coverage too. But I'm still so uncovered everywhere else. Do you have any suggestions? -- Hollis
Answer:Ah yes. As the weather warms up, the swimwear question always comes with it. Swimwear is a source of anxiety for many women, modestly inclined or not. I'm not going to deal with the body image piece here today; we will leave that for another time. However, I will cite my friend Amy's wisdom: You know you get a bikini-ready body in one quick step? Step one: Put on a bikini. True story, Amy.
Anyway. For those of use for whom modesty is an issue, however, swimwear is complicated beyond just body image. There are a few ways to go, in my experience.
Option #1: Just wear a bathing suit. A good number of my friends end up suspending modesty parameters when they are at the beach, under the assumption that that is actually the normal mode of dress there, and also that nobody is looking. It is also true that a one piece/ skirted bathing suit/ long tankini (God bless whoever invented the tankini, making it easier for us to go to the bathroom without taking off all of our clothes) is often much more modest than the string bikinis many people wear. If this option works for you, I have had great success with Lands End bathing suits for providing a little more coverage. (And they seem to be having a sale until tomorrow, if you're in the market.)
Option #2: Modest swimwear. I don't have a lot of experience in this area, but I have friends who have bought bathing outfits through companies like Hydrochic and Modli. The nice thing about these companies is they tend to offer a range of styles depending on your standards of modesty, including skirt options, for those whom that is a requirement. They also sell water-friendly hair coverings. I've never gone this route, partly because I don't spend enough time at the pool to justify the expense and partly because I'm fairly certain I would drown if I tried to wear a swimming skirt. But for people for whom maintaining the same standards of modesty at the beach as they do in day-to-day life is a requirement, this is definitely good to know about.
Option #3: This is sort of a middle ground, and where I hang out. I usually wear a normal swimsuit under a t-shirt/ rashguard and men's board shorts. (See the picture above, from a delightful week at the Jersey shore last summer.) I don't wear shorts in normal life, but I've found that many men's bathing suits provide me with the level of coverage I feel comfortable in at the beach. The nice thing about them is that they are meant to be used for swimming, so they don't weigh you down the way a bathing outfit might, but they still provide a lot of coverage, which is useful for both maintaining modesty and sun protection. It's not necessary to spend a lot of money on them-- mine come from Old Navy and Target-- and they could theoretically be worn without a bathing suit underneath, although I've never done so. Look for a board short that has a 10 inch inseam or longer. Also, remember that men's clothing are not cut for hips, so I often end up going up one size so that I don't feel like my legs are sausages. You'll still be more covered than basically every woman you see, but long shorts and a t-shirt are much less conspicuous, if that's a factor for you. (In a pinch, basketball shorts work as well, but they can fall down if you're in rough water.)
So those are my thoughts on swimwear. Hope that helped! Certainly, this is one of the more complicated areas of modesty, so it's important to figure out what's right for you, rather than worrying about what other people are doing. And no matter what, remember to wear sunscreen! (Especially if you're exposing parts of your skin that are usually covered. That's a lobster waiting to happen.) Happy swimming everyone!
Have a question you'd like me to answer? Leave it in the comments, or email me here!
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