The Pajama Dress Has Failed Me.

Guys, things are not always easy. Today, something I thought could never happen, did. My pajama dress failed me.

"What do you mean?!" You say in shock. "The whole point of the pajama dress is that it looks like work clothes but feels like pajamas!"

I know. I never thought this day would come. But I woke up this morning feeling out of sorts, and pulled out a pajama dress because I needed something comfy, but also work appropriate because I've been giving oral exams and therefore felt like I shouldn't wear actual pajamas. On went the dress. On went the leggings. On went the loose head covering that never gives me a headache. But somehow I was still very uncomfortable.

So I have surrendered. I am now wearing joggers from Old Navy (they're so soft!), a t-shirt that says "Be the Person Chris Traeger Knows You Can Be," and a Yale sweatshirt from when my older sister started college, which was, let's just say, a number of years ago. I feel much better, at least physically, and I'm working on letting myself feel grumpy on the grump days, without judgement. I'm also planning to make my first ever loaf of sourdough today (I've been making bread since I was a kid, but never sourdough), because fresh bread almost always helps.

When I have to get back on Zoom, I'll probably just throw on one of the head coverings I wear to exercise. I still have to give another exam today, but hopefully my student will forgive me my sweatshirt. These days, we just all have to do the best we can.

I bought these slippers on crazy clearance a bunch of years ago because I guess nobody realized that it's fun to have pink slippers, and they're honestly one of the best purchases I've ever made, except that the laces refuse to stay tied.

On that note, we have inadvertently become a shoe-free house. Y. hasn't been outside in 55 days, which is extremely strange, and while I go for a walk almost every day, I take everything off as soon as I get home, just in case. So I've started wearing slippers almost exclusively, and I have to tell you, I don't hate it. These slippers, by Ugg, somehow make my feet warm but never sweaty, and although they don't have the festive pink color anymore, I recommend them, especially if your house or apartment runs cold, as ours does.

Anyway. The outfit in this picture is not from today, obviously, but instead is from a week where I decided I should get dressed for Shabbat, even though I wasn't leaving the house. It's an old Boden favorite, from I think three (???) years ago, and I love the color and that the fabric is both structured and stretchy. I liked how the colors complimented my head scarf nicely, and it was a gesture of hope that one day, we will dress for outside again. Until then, slippers and sweatpants for all, at least some days.

Why Is This Night Different from All Other Nights?

Answer: because on this night, I wore shoes!

It's been a strange Passover thus far. Usually, there is a frenzy of cooking, cleaning, turning the kitchen over to be kosher for Passover way in advance, and going to the grocery store every single day. We had planned to be with my in-laws for the seders and then with my family for the last days of the holiday, but instead, here we are in our house. In that way, this day is just like all other days.

This is my question pose.

Anyway. I usually love the seder because I can make everyone listen to me talk about Judaism and read to them from the Talmud and stuff, and THEY CAN'T STOP ME!! (evil laugh.) I got to do some of that at home, but my husband Y. is happy to have me do those things so I feel less like I am forcing him and somehow that is less fun? Maybe there is something wrong with me.

Anyway. We don't use electricity on Shabbat and holidays, but luckily my family started their (virtual) seder almost an hour and half before the holiday officially began, so we got to join them for the beginning. Y. has a projector that he is obsessed with, so he set it up and we projected the seder on the wall. In this way, it WAS different from all other nights. (See what I'm doing here?)

The view from another station at the seder.

You might notice there are three seats at our table, instead of two. Did we have a clandestine seder guest??? No, we set an extra setting to remember the people who were alone, and who we wished we could have at our table. Although over the course of the three days of the holiday (first two days of Passover + Shabbat), our poor invisible guest found that her silverware was increasingly invisible as well. Sorry, invisible friend.

This was the set-up at our pre-seder. You will notice that people are projected on the wall because we are fancy.

There's a tradition to wear new clothes for holidays, and also, because Passover often comes at the start of warmer weather, more or less, it's an excuse for new dresses. I did not buy a new dress this year, but I DID have this one, which I had been wanting to wear but it was winter and then we stopped leaving the house. It's from Boden, but I got it at Century 21, where apparently they have things from Boden at about 50% off! Too bad stores are closed forever now.

We are already drowning in hair and we're only a month in so it will be interested to see how this will end.

I was worried it would be a bit much when I first saw it, with the ruffles in front, and the belled cuffs, but I think it just works. The busy pattern actually hides some of the details, which makes them less overpowering. I paired it with a fascinator (my first fancy hat in many weeks) and plain sandals. I vaguely thought about putting on heels, but I have limits, people.

So that's the story of our seders. If you celebrated Passover or Easter, how did it go? Did you wear pretty clothes, even though you stayed home?

Until next time!

Dress: Boden, via Century 21 (still in stock in some sizes in black, or similar here)
Sandals: Born (similar here)
Hat: Bella's Hats and Fascinators (she usually does pop ups, but she's taking online orders now. Her stuff isn't cheap, but it is beautiful.)

Hey Guys, Remember Me?

Apparently it's been a while since I blogged? Like, more than three years? So, um.... hi everyone! Remember me? It's Rachel, your friendly neighborhood blogger.

A lot has happened since I was here last! I got married! I moved! (Only nine blocks, but in Manhattan, that's a whole different neighborhood.) I got a PhD! I got rid of a lot of clothes and got a lot of other ones! After I got married, I started covering part of my hair, which means new accessories! So you know, a lot to report.

I have mostly brought the blog back due to popular demand. To you, my few but persistent fans, I appreciate you and hear your cries. Here we are.

I also brought it back because what weird times we are living in! I'm going to try to keep the blog as corona free as possible, because this should be frivolity, so consider yourself warned. But of course, what does it mean for us to get dressed when we aren't leaving the house? I will try to answer this question to the best of my ability.

Ok, down to business. Whether one who is lucky enough to work from home right now needs to put on real clothes is a matter of real debate right now. Apparently, stores have seen a spike in orders for tops, but nobody is ordering bottoms. We can thank Zoom for this reality.

I've been trying to get dressed every day, for the sake of my mental health. However, comfort is paramount. Especially because I spend a lot of my time at our bike desk (more on that later), which means I can't wear anything too constricting, or else I can't pedal. So let's discuss what I call the pajama dress. Everyone who wears dresses should have at least one, but ideally, you should have infinity because they're the best.

What is a pajama dress, you ask? It is a dress that looks like clothes but feels like pajamas. This usually means some sort of stretch fabric, nothing too constricted, and it should not be too short, because then it is hard to sit down.

This dress is the Abigail dress from Boden. It is possible that I have four of them. I feel that this choice is justified, as it is super comfortable and it HAS POCKETS.

Look how happy I am about my pockets!

You will notice that I am not wearing shoes. While I get dressed every day, I feel strongly that there is no reason to wear shoes. Instead, socks or slippers depending on the temperature in our apartment. My socks are all neon because I have switched over to Darn Tough socks, which are the best, but also very pricey, so I buy the ones on clearance, which are always colorful. I say, embrace the color.

This is my festive headscarf. I don't cover all of my hair every day--sometimes I only cover some of it--but on days when my hair is crazy/ I haven't showered/ humidity all day, this can be a fun option. I recently learned about the magic of a giant scrunchy, which makes it look like I have sooo much hair. (I don't, I have a normal amount.) But don't worry, the curly hair is still there and will reappear in a post soon.

How's everyone holding up? Do you have a pajama dress? Do you just wear regular pajamas all day? Are you happy we're back? Leave me a comment below!

Dress: Boden
Sweater: LOFT (old, but similar here)
Leggings: Old Navy
Socks: Darn Tough
Scarf: Wrapunzel

Shana Tova!

Just a mini post ahead of Rosh Hashanah. This has been a year of some really great things and some hard ones, but the beauty is, we always get to start again.

So here's to climbing to new heights...

And never forgetting that we can fly.

   

Shana tova to everyone celebrating! May this be a year of only wonderful, sweet things for all of us, and for the world.

A CHWG First! A Guest Blogger and Stitch Fix for Men

Big things happening on the blog today, people! My friend Mike, whose daughter Ivy will marry my nephew Simon on day if their lives proceed as planned (as the lives of eight year olds always do) got his first Stitch Fix. What's that? You didn't know that men could have Stitch Fixes too? Well, now they can! Read on, and then get in on the fun yourself. And now, I hand it over to Mike, who is at least as funny as me, if not funnier:

Guys, I’m chiming in here for a guest blog for two main reasons: 1) Stitch Fix now carries men’s clothes and 2) I’m totes procrastinating from doing my dissertation! UGH am I right? (Technically this is true; I am also procrastinating from enrolling in graduate school). My name is Mike and I am connected to Rachel and fam through Rachel’s sister Rebecca, although I potentially may be machatunen [editor's note: that is the parents-in-law's relationship with each other] with the clan in the future as Rachel’s nephew Simon and my daughter Ivy have been besherit [editor's note: made for each other] since they met at age 2. It’s true love, like The Notebook on fleek. (Is that a proper use of “on fleek”? In other news, I’m 37).

Anyhoo, as a more or less male version of Rachel (curly hair, glasses, totally addicted to cookies!), I decided that I was the perfect person to answer her call for a blog post about the new men’s Stitch Fix. Serendipitously, I had already received my first “Man Fix” (trademark pending) when she posted about it, as my wife, the lovely Kimbo, is a big Stitch Fix fan since way back in the day (2015?) and convinced me to join up as she would get a discount for conning persuading me to enlist.

About my style: I work at a law firm (not a lawyer, just play one on TV) so my M-F clothing is relatively conservative business casual. Otherwise I’m pretty laid-back on the style front – jeans, cool sneaks, and a T shirt or untucked sassy button-down is my preferred weekend gear. Occasionally I go tuxedo on the top, Speedo on the bottom [editor's note: Mike, that is NOT modest! Or fashionable], but that’s for a different blog…

Filling out the Stitch Fix style profile online was pretty easy, though it was lengthy and there seemed to be a time limit on it, like I was buying Tom Petty tickets and if I didn’t enter my credit card information fast enough, my loge level seats would be released back into the wild. I liked a lot of the looks and was eager to get my first box.

And the box did not disappoint! I received 3 tops, a pair of jeans, and fun socks. 

The jeans were excellent – stylish black jeans that were a little tight from the knee down, like half-skinny, half-normie. I easily would have paid $100+ for them in a store, though they were listed as less than $100 (don’t have the exact price because I threw out the sheet and can’t figure out how to see past Fixes online; I know, I have failed you).

The first shirt, a purple button-down, was exactly my style – way to go, Fixers! Good for work, date night, parent/teacher conference, public hangings, etc. 

The second shirt is one I would have walked right past had I seen it in a store, because the plaid pattern is a little much; also it is a heavier material, and I live in LA, where it’s cold for maybe 10 days a year. However, it really works – great fit, and the pattern is growing on me. A keeper!

The hoodie is also something I would have walked past in a store, because it’s not a traditional hoodie – lighter weight and more fashion-forward than the hoodies I usually wear (which are more in the “I have no interest in showering or getting dressed today so I am gonna totes procrastinate from writing my dissertation in this bigass hoodie” category). However, since I was definitely keeping the jeans and purple shirt, and was leaning toward keeping the other button-down, it made sound financial sense to keep the hoodie, and learn to love it. Which I will!

Lastly, the socks. As you may be able to tell from these photos, I am a giant person, and my feet are just outside the range of normal human feet (size 14). Though I enjoy fun socks in theory, I have a hard time finding them in my size because most “one size fits all” men’s socks are made for shoe sizes 6-13, which you Mathletes out there might recognize as smaller than 14. In fact, on the Stitch Fix site when asked to enter my shoe size, 14 wasn’t even an option – they stopped at 13! I entered in a note saying that my shoe size was actually 14, but apparently no one read that as I got standard-size socks, which though fun were a bit small. As it behooved me to keep the socks for the “buy the whole box” discount, I gifted them to my brother-in-law, who promptly forgot them at my house. So there ya go.

All in all I saved a ton of money on 4 great pieces without ever having to enter a dressing room, which I hate. Super win! Thanks to Rachel for handing over her blog to me this week, and see you on the Interwebs!

Ok guys, I'm back now. Many thanks to Mike for getting on the fun! I hope you all enjoyed this foray into men's modest fashion. My fix is supposed to come in a week and a half, so more Fix fun here soon! And in the meantime-- don't delay-- order your Fix now!

The Time I Accidentally Walked to Brooklyn (and Back)

Guys, thanks for all of your kind responses on my last post. It's nice to have all of you on my team! Sarah and I are running the Bronx 10 Miler on Sunday morning, so please cheer from us from your beds, which is where normal people (without children) are on Sunday mornings.

One of the new things that happened this summer is that I kept finding myself in Brooklyn. What's that about? Honestly, I am usually one of those obnoxious Manhattanites who complains about how far away Brooklyn is from everything. But that's mostly because usually I would go on the weekend, when subways are all wonky and it takes forever. But in the summer, when I have more time, I discovered that Brooklyn is not actually so far away! (I know, I know. No need to say anything. At least I admit to my obnoxiousness.)

And I discovered all of this partly when, purely by accident, I ended up walking from my apartment on the Upper West Side to Brooklyn one Sunday.

What??? You say. That's crazy! And yes, it was a little, mostly because I wasn't wearing sneakers, which meant my feet really hurt at the end of the day. My Naot are comfortable, but not that comfortable. But I did it!

Here is what happened. I made plans with my friend Samantha to walk across the Manhattan Bridge. However, I had a few other plans over the course of the day, each of which found me walking progressively further south, rather than getting on the subway, because I am cheap and don't have an unlimited ride Metrocard, which means that I sometimes do crazy things like walk to Brooklyn. By the time I reached the west 20s, it became clear that the easiest way to meet Samantha was to just keep walking. So I did. And then we walked across the bridge, and then decided to walk back across the Brooklyn Bridge. (Don't worry, then we went straight to the subway.) I didn't smell great by the end, honestly. But man, those bridges are gorgeous.

See?

And now, time to go back to work. The prospectus might be sort of almost ready to go to my committee! And also, today is a VERY big day. But I'm not telling why yet. Want to know more? Come back next time!

One Month to Go! So I'm Getting Real.

Guys, it has been a big week. I saw my first ever ocean reacting to a tropical storm. (Crazy.) I ran a 10k and set a personal best with a crazy negative split. (More on that later, including the definition of a negative split.) I wrote 15(!) pages of my dissertation proposal. (For those of you keeping track who thought I had already finished a draft, the answer is that is true, but I decided it was bad so I threw it out and started again. If you are wondering if I am insane, the answer might be yes.) And last night, I reached peak happiness, when my lifelong (or yearlong) dream was finally realized and I got to go SEE HAMILTON. Was it as good as everyone said? Yes. Did I cry for almost the whole second act? Yes. I am afraid nothing will ever be that good again? Yes. Lin Manuel Miranda, if you are reading this blog (hey, you never know!), you are a genius and I am sort of obsessed with you in a not at all creepy way. Thank you for sharing your art with the world. And please let me know how I can go again! Ok? Thanks!

This was taken after the 10k, but it could have been
me yesterday on Hamilton day.

Anyway. It is one month until HM Day, which is half-marathon day. Eek! So in honor of this occasion, I'm going to get real with all of you. Like many people (and especially women) out there, I spend way too much time worrying about how I look. I wish I didn't. I wish I felt good about my body every day, no matter what. I wish I could always focus on the amazing things my body could do, instead of what it looked like. In fact, one of the reasons I started this blog was to force myself to stop hiding, start wearing clothes that fit, and learn to talk about myself and how I look in positive ways. It's actually been a mostly successful endeavor, which I feel glad about, and I'm hoping to get back into blogging more regularly now that I'm on a regular schedule again.

Bat Mitzvah Rachel

I don't remember when I started feeling self conscious about my body. Maybe it's just (unfortunately) a normal learned behavior in our society? But either way, the larger problem for much of my adolescence was that I wasn't healthy, or treating my body well. I played sports (extremely poorly), but I also ate bagels and plain pasta basically every day and many snickers bars. Every year, I would go to the doctor and she would suggest gently that perhaps I should change my eating habits and try to lose a little weight, or at least not gain more. And every year, I would be  extremely motivated for about three days and then would go back to normal. By the time I was 14, I was 5'3", 200 pounds, and in pretty terrible shape. I wanted to look different, but I didn't know how.

The successful racers

Sometimes people ask me how I lost all that weight. The answer is a complicated one. First, I didn't lose it all at once. It came off in blocks, and then it would stop again. Second, I never decided to go on a diet. Instead, I decided to try to eat more salad and discovered I actually liked many vegetables. I stopped buying so many candy bars. I tried to stop eating my feelings. (It worked sometimes.) Third, I got an iPod. I know this sounds weird, but it really changed my relationship to exercise. When I didn't have to lug around a discman (remember those????) going to the gym or for a run was suddenly more more enjoyable.

The struggle still continued, and does sometimes. I try to focus on how I feel and how my clothes fit, rather than a number on a scale. These days, I also do some strength training, which is a new challenge for me and sometimes makes me feel very hardcore (like the time I did 10 push ups and then leg pressed my body weight! Yes, I did make people congratulate me. I'm not ashamed.) I also realized that exercise helps me with my anxiety, which means that when I feel bad, I specifically try to get myself outside. It doesn't always work, but there is something to be said for the idea that one healthy choice leads to another.

So proud of my mom, who ran her first 5K!

 The other thing I realized, though, is that I feel really STRONG right now. And that's so cool! I'm not sure I ever felt this strong before. I first felt it consciously on Sunday, when, as the 10K went on, I started running faster, instead of running out of steam. I ended up doing the second 3 miles more than a minute and a half faster than the first three miles (that's a negative split), which is something that I've never done before. And when I was done, I felt like I could keep going, instead of totally exhausted and beaten down. Obviously this is a good thing, since I'm supposed to run 13 miles in exactly one month. But it's also really amazing because I'm not sure I've ever felt strong before. And when I feel strong, I'm less worried about how the person I see in the mirror looks, because I know she is healthy.

The finishers!

I'm sure this is not the end of the body struggles. I wish I could say that it will be over and I will never feel bad about myself again but that is obviously a lie. I also wish we lived in a world where less attention was paid to how women look and more attention was paid to things like their brains, but it seems we are still pretty far from that. So in the meantime, I promise that Curly Hair with Glasses will remain body positive and cheer you on no matter what you look like, choose to wear, or otherwise present yourself to society. We love you here, dear readers! Keep on trucking! And feel free to leave your thoughts and stories in the comments. I would love to read them.

And in honor of that love, here is one more picture of Bat Mitzvah Rachel, just because it is so funny. Never say that I don't do anything for you. Have a great weekend!